– by Kacey Veiking
The future is a daunting unknown. We spend the early part of our lives collecting the pieces of our puzzle; this puzzle contains a combination of aspirations we have achieved and failures that may have occurred in doing so. What happens when a piece of that puzzle you have been holding so dearly disappears in an instant? How are you supposed to see the final picture knowing one crucial piece is gone for good?
My dad passed away two weeks and four days ago. Time has moved slowly since. Losing him was, and probably will be, the hardest thing I will ever have to go through. The pain is unimaginable, indescribable, and utterly heartbreaking. Continuing and finding my place in this seemingly dreadful future is hard to imagine. I do my best to walk on this earth with my head held high, but the weight being pushed back upon me is one of great heft. The daunting unknown is frightening. This feeling of fear has not changed in the weeks following his passing. This worry of the future is not a new fear of mine; however, it has been amplified. I find great joy in success, which I force myself to think of often. I wish that soon this fear evaporates, condenses into a new consciousness, and a new feeling of hope showers over me with the impending precipitation that follows. Until then, I wait. I wait with my unfinished puzzle. I wait and hope for a way to rid myself of this fear of the future and use what pieces I do have to complete the picture. I do not want to fill the void that exists within my puzzle, instead, I aspire to find beauty in the remaining, surrounding picture.
