– By Sara Anastasi
I am a perfectionist. I set an example of responsibility, independence, and ambition. In short, being the big sister essentially means I’m a complete nutcase. I’m anxious, I’m scared to fail. I was the self-sufficient, unproblematic child. I needed to be. In a household where two-thirds of the children are intellectually disabled, that other one-third child must be the
buffer; an invisible shield, a third parent.
We often compared ourselves to one of our favorite Pixar movies, “The Incredibles.” Just like the family of five we watched on TV, we were a family full of superpowers. My brother Mikey’s “supersonic speed” was his highly functioning autistic brain. His spastic bursts of pure intelligence followed by a super inappropriate joke or curse word. My sister Jenna’s “unlimited power” was her Pitt-Hopkins Syndrome. The rare genetic disorder encoded in her DNA is her magical ability to shapeshift. My father is the image of “superhuman strength,” his strong-willed sense of self and his willingness to beat the odds make him indeed a super-dad. And my mother’s super “elasticity” was the glue holding us all together. She stretched over forwards and backward, twisting her schedules just to be there for us. My superpower is the ability to be invisible. I protect my family from danger with my super-strong force fields, shielding us all from any other societal weight and worry.
Together we fought crime, stopped villains, and crushed boundaries. We tackled bullies, weird stares from other children and their parents, doctors with misdiagnoses, questionable ethics of religious leaders, defeatists.
Our weapons were strollers, IEP meetings, physical therapy, speech therapy, one-on-one teacher aids, and the entire DVD gallery of Disney films.
Every family has special gifts and talents. But what makes our family “super” is this: We didn’t hide our differences. We didn’t try to “fit in” and be like everybody else. We were authentic, unique individuals, happy to stand out in a crowd. We are happy with who we are. We can save the world with love.
